As a Coach and Mentor with nearly 30 years of professional experience, I’ve come across countless misconceptions about what Coaching truly is – and what it isn’t. Btw, I intend to write about the common misunderstandings around Mentoring in another article. For now, I’d like to address the most persistent myths surrounding Coaching here.
Of course, there are more than four myths – but these are the ones I see doing the most damage. They often get in the way of people who are thinking about working with a Coach or Mentor, and they can seriously distort expectations from the start.
So, let’s dive in.
Myth #1: A Coach is like a handyman who will fix everything that’s broken in your life.
Nope. Not even close.
A Coach is not someone you hire to “repair” your life, relationships, career, or mindset – just like you’d call a plumber to fix a leaky pipe. No matter how skilled or experienced the Coach may be, they are not there to take over your life and fix it for you.
You are not a broken appliance. You are not a pipe, a fridge, or a car that stopped working. You are a thinking, feeling, choosing human being – with a mind, a heart, and a soul. No one else can do the work for you.
Yes, a Coach can help you gain clarity, find direction, challenge your thinking, and support your growth. But you must do the work. Without your commitment, your effort, and – most importantly – your determination, no Coach can create meaningful change on your behalf.
I know, people like to joke, “Hard work never killed anyone… but why take the risk?”
But joking aside – don’t fall into the illusion that hiring a Coach means outsourcing your growth, goals, or healing. It doesn’t work that way.
It never has, and it never will.
Myth #2: Coaching is like a vehicle with a driver (the Coach) who takes us to our desired destination while we just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Not quite. Tempting idea – but no. Although this image is partially true, it needs an important correction.
The word “coach” actually comes from the name of a vehicle – originally a horse-drawn carriage, later a part of a train. In that sense, coaching is like a journey – a process of moving from where you are now to where you want to be. That metaphor still holds.
But here’s the thing: even if you’ve bought the ticket, boarded the coach, and there’s a driver at the front – you still have a pivotal role to play.
Coaching is a verb. And a verb requires a subject – it needs you.
Without your engagement, your effort, and your willingness to actively participate in the process, the “vehicle” won’t take you very far.
You can’t expect transformation by simply sitting back and watching the scenery go by.
Life is a journey, yes, but one that requires movement, action, reflection, and conscious choice. A Coach may guide, encourage, challenge, and support you, but they can’t drive your journey while you nap in the back seat.
It’s just like in sports: for an athlete to stand on the podium, it takes both the athlete’s talent and the Coach’s expertise. But it’s the athlete who gets the medal – not the Coach. And that’s exactly how it should be. The good coaches know what I mean.
Myth #3: Once the coaching sessions are completed, everything is done.
Again – not true.
Coaching isn’t a one-and-done solution. Deciding to work with a Coach is an important step, but it’s only part of the journey – not the whole thing.
Coaching is a temporary yet transformational phase in your life. When it ends, what continues is you – with new insights, deeper awareness, and better tools to shape your future. The real work happens not just during the coaching sessions, but especially after they’re over.
A good coaching process will leave you equipped – or better yet, armed – with tools to manage your thoughts, influence your decisions, and align your actions with your values and goals. But these tools won’t use themselves. You need to keep applying them, refining them, and growing with them.
Coaching helps you become more of who you are meant to be. But carrying that version of yourself into the future is your responsibility.
It’s like being a swimmer. You may train with a great coach, learn the perfect technique, and build the right mindset – but ultimately, you have to get in the water. Many hours every day. No mercy for your ego.
If you want to become stronger, faster, better – you need to keep swimming. No one can do your laps for you.
And yes – there may come a time, later in life, when you reach another pivotal moment. A new chapter. A new ambition. That’s when you might return to coaching – not because something is broken, but because you’re ready to go further, and you know the value of skilled support.
Myth #4: Once change is achieved, it’s permanent.
No, it’s not. And anyone who tells you it is – isn’t telling you the truth.
Why? Because, as mentioned earlier, we are not machines. We are not brainless, mindless, passive matter. We are human beings – with free will, emotions, and yes, egos.
Our ego will do its very best to lure us back into what’s easy, quick, and comfortable. It whispers that shortcuts driven by our laziness all that because our ego is happiest when we make choices that make us unhappy.
True change doesn’t come from one decision. It comes from daily decisions, from our responsibility, self-awareness, and consistent efforts.
You’ll know you’ve made the right choice when something beautiful happens:
that internal dialogue – the constant justification, explaining, second-guessing – all that goes silent.
No more mental debates before falling asleep.
No more inner tension or irritation.
Just a quiet mind. A strange, so beautiful lightness in your body.
And a deep, unmistakable feeling of peace.
Nevertheless, be aware as that state won’t last unless you maintain it.
The effects of coaching will last only as long as you do your part. You have to remain an active doer, not a passive observer of your life.
Get to the waters. Swim your six miles every day. Or more.
Coaching can lead to profound change – but sustaining it is a daily choice.
Your choice. Every single day.
Thanks for your time, have a great day:) – Elwira Stadnik
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