Do you think people dream about a satisfactory life? Are you sure that they want to be happy, fulfilled human being? The truth is, 90% of our present population do not want it, that it is just a verbal expression blurring in the air after being spread out from their mouths.

The truth is people don’t want to be happy and satisfied in their life. Why? Because most of them act contrary to achieving their happiness. Why is it so? Why do they get rid their real satisfaction of? Why do people make choices which cause unhappiness, dissatisfactions and no real fulfilment? Mostly due to their fear to follow dreams. However it would be too simply to say: because of fears. What lays under? What causes the fear?

For more then 15 years of my work I do recognise the fact, that a feeling of shame is much stronger obstacle then a fear. Shame drives people to kill their dreams. Shame causes fears. Shame of what? There are many "shames", however each of them situate us in front of other's people judgment, therefore we quit our biggest dreams and we follow others expectations. Yes. Other's people needs. Recently I have asked a friend of mine what if we recruit an employee in the same way as we choose our life-partners, our future wife or husband? What if we set the same criteria to choose the right person for a position in our company, instead of assuming from the beginning that if anything goes wrong we will replace this one with another one? Hmmm. It would be damn good!!!! Employing someone is giving him/her the right to influence on our income, isn't it?

The most important issue for choosing well is knowing WHY a person really wants to join us, no matter if it involves him with our professional or private life, right? It would be a great feeling and the greatest benefit if people choose us as a result of their biggest need to stay with us, to work with us, to struggle hand in hand if difficulties happen to our company, wouldn't it? Can you recognise what are the real reasons of a decision which is about to be made by a persons you are about to employ?

There are 6 main levels of making a decision. Robert Dilts has categorised them, thus it’s logicallevels used to be named Dilt’s Pyramid. Through more then 15 years of my professional coaching experience helping my clients to achieve a satisfactory life (private and professional) I do believe these levels describe absolutely correct how and why people make a decision and what it causes as a result.

Here below I am going to show you how much of satisfaction gets a person who makes a decision according to the level from which a decision has been made. Aside each of it I put how much of satisfaction gets the world around you.

Starting with the lowest level of satisfaction, which means that a person who makes such a decision achieve the lowest percentage of satisfaction:

So, if you make (your) decision prior to:

1. people who stay close to you (family, friends, colleagues, a group you belong to, etc.) - you get about 1-2 % of satisfaction, (yes, the world around gets 98-99% of satisfaction of a decision you make)

2. prior to social behaviour conventions and rules - you get 20-25 % of satisfaction (the world - 75-80%)

3. prior to your skills and possibilities (subjectively recognised by you) you – 30-35 % (the world - 65-70%)

4. prior to your believes – 60-70% (the world - 30-40%)

(unfortunately most people believe that their believes are originally theirs, but the truth is that most of „our” believes we did „bought” sub-concisely  from others while we grown up. During a survey I use to make people I work for I ask them questions about their deepest believe about: love, big money, career. 90% of them respond: 

  1. „a forever love” exists  only in movies or in books
  2. big money causes unhappiness and mostly there are dirty money fortunes 
  3. great career is possible only by connection and support of others

but in the following part of the survey they declare they have not had ANY own experience in a situation they were asked to answer about.

5. prior to personal identity – 70-80 % (the world - 30-20%)

6. prior to spirituality (which can be simply transformed to: following your own heart) – 100 %, and it is the only situation when having 100% of satisfaction you make the world really, really satisfied and fulfilled too. Seems strange? No, it is not. Have you ever made a decision which did come absolutely from  your heart? What happened then? Now you know what I am talking about.

I highly recommend Robert Dilt’s books for everybody who really wants to go deeper into a subject about how to live full of satisfaction life, how to confront shames which stop us from aiming high and achieving our dream goals. It can help anyone who is sick of doing what others want him to do, or is exhausted with following other people dreams instead of making his own come true.

On the other hand if we know what is the real reason people choose our company, to work with us or for us, it will give us a possibility to know if we really can count on them when we will go through any awkwardness and difficulties.

@ElwiraStadnik

ShareShare on Facebook2Email this to someoneShare on LinkedIn0Tweet about this on Twitter1Share on Google+0